Sep 9, 2011

More about Lolong, the lovable giant man-eating crocodile

Earlier this week, residents of a farming township in the southern Philippines celebrated the live capture of a suspected killer: a one-ton, 20-foot, male saltwater crocodile. In case you’re wondering, that’s fucking huge. It took 100 people to hoist this amazing creature out of its creek - up which it was, presumably, sans paddle.

“Lolong” stands accused of eating a child two years ago, and may be responsible for a fisherman going missing in July. However, wildlife official Ronnie Sumiller says there’s an even bigger croc still on the loose.

Saltwater crocodiles can grow to 23 feet, and may live more than 100 years. Experts estimate that Lolong is 50 years old - since eating children and fishermen is a sign of midlife crisis in most crocodiles.

Crocodiles differ from alligators in a number of ways. Alligators have wider snouts, while a crocodile snout almost comes to a point. Alligators prefer freshwater, crocodiles are fine with saltwater. Gators play poker on Thursdays, crocs get togged up and enjoy a round of golf on Sundays. That’s just the way it is. Also, crocodiles are distinguished by two teeth that jut up outside the mouth like smug tusks. But the two share a common family tree - along with caimans and gharials, whatever those are - that appeared 84 million years ago.

So, they’re awesome. Should they be bound up with heavy ropes and posts and trucked off into captivity for being large carnivores? Probably not. According to The Philippine Star, Lolong’s already stressed out, muzzled and caged to be gawked at by crowds and taunted by children.

It’s great that there’s an even bigger one still at large ("Lo-longer"). I say let the monsters multiply!

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