Crazy elks, murd'rous moose

Wednesday night, a drunken moose (Eurasian elk) got herself stuck in an apple tree, which had to be pared back and winched down so she could curl up on the grass and pass out. She slept in, but seemed to be fine later the next day.

Apparently this is not uncommon in Sweden, where moose are known to indulge in fermenting apples. Sadly, their revels can end badly. Ingemar Westlund, 68, was just cleared of murder charges after police concluded his wife was killed by a moose, probably a drunk one. That moose remains at large.

A note here: BBC says “elk,” CNN says “moose.” Elk and moose are distinct members of the deer family, Cervidae, but their names are interchangeable. Except that you will know the Commie scum if they call a moose (Alces alces) an elk (Cervus canadensis)!

Final note: animals get drunk all the time. Elephants are even worse than moose, because they go stampeding through villages, over homes and people. They can even do harm to themselves, like our friend stuck in the tree.

Wild animals should be given a respectable distance even when they aren’t drunk, of course. But just like humans, unless you have some Excedrin and mimosas on hand, animals are deadliest during a hangover!



Love to Stephanie, thanks to Shamie.

What will the Dipterans say?

The universality of alcohol's effects appears to have been confirmed by a recent report from Penn State which showed that inebriated fruit flies not only lose motor control and eventually consciousness, but also their sexual inhibitions. In fact, the drunken males can become so sexually uninhibited as to switch teams and hit on their fellow males--"a novel type of behavioral disinhibition," insist the researchers.

Led by Kyung-An Han, the current study observed the sexual behavior of sober fruit flies first. When an amorous Drosophila melanogaster meets an eligible female, he gives her a tap, sings her a song, and proceeds to lick her genitals. With just the guys, this courting ritual is almost never observed, and when it's attempted it is usually strongly rebuked by the male courtee.

But things are different in the Flypub--the environment experimenters use to get their fruit flies drunk. It is essentially an ethanol-soaked cotton ball in the middle of the flies' container. The flies don't imbibe, they inhale the fumes. Han's team gave their flies a daily dose--Happy Hour at the Flypub--"to more closely mimic the drinking habits of alcoholics and chronic alcohol abusers."

Another way to get fruit flies and other airborne insects drunk is the inebriometer: a tall glass tube with several platforms attached to a pump for the introduction of alcohol vapor. The bugs start out on the top platform, where they'll remain in the absence of alcohol, but after a few "drinks" they'll start to tumble from one platform down to the next. Their crapulence is measured by the time it takes a pile of them to form at the bottom.

If you are worried about the effect this debaucherous research is having on Drosophila melanogasters' moral fiber, you should be aware that scientists have not stopped at ethanol and its unsavory effects: they've tested caffeine on the innocent flies and even crack cocaine!

Video: Fruit flies gone wild